Chapter 73: Of the appearance of Christ to the disciples in Jerusalem when it was late, and the doors were shut

I BLESS You, and give thanks to You, O Lord Jesus Christ, Peace of the godly, Hope of the just, Joy of faithful people gathered together in Your Name, Comforter of the contrite in heart, and Visitor of Monks, for Your glorious and miraculous appearance to Your Apostles assembled together, when it was already late. No one knocked and no one opened : the windows and doors of the house had been tightly closed as a precaution for fear of the Jews. And this no doubt happened in order that Your entrance and appearance might be seen to be truly and certainly due to Divine power alone, and not to any human power or agency, nor to any trick artfully contrived by the devil ; for You are very God, Who deceive not, but do hate and punish deceivers. You are Almighty, and therefore whatsoever You wiliest, that straightway comes to pass.

But the simple and the devout, such as were the Apostles and the other disciples assembled at that time in the upper room. You do visit and enlighten; and so You did comfort and lovingly greet them with the words, "Peace be unto you: it is I, be not afraid."

I praise and honour You for Your gentle and peaceful greeting of them after their distress which had been so great, and I clap my hands at the thought of a sight which must have been more than ever joyous as following so great trouble and alarm. They did indeed need to be visited, to be comforted, supported, and greeted anew. They had been lying under tribulations and temptations greater than they had ever before passed through; they had all fled like sheep when the shepherd of the flock was seized and put to death; and after having been scattered hither and thither they were so fearful and sad that, even now when it was late, they had only just taken heart to meet together and breathe again, as it were, once more.

I praise and magnify Your sweet Name, O most loving Jesus, above all in heaven or on earth, for that You did vouchsafe to show Yourself on this day to the terrified fugitives, to Your unhappy and saddened Apostles, who had lost all heart, and no longer believed what You had so often told them about Yourself. But now You did unspeakably gladden their hearts by friendly converse with them with Your Own mouth: You did put an end to all their doubt and fear by at once openly showing to them in Your Hands and Feet and sacred Side evident signs of Your Passion: in their sight You did eat some broiled fish and some honey-comb; and in order that they might have the joy of eating with You, You did hand to them with Your own Divine Hand that which was left: during the meal You did cite Holy Scripture, did solve their doubts and did make hidden things plain; You did enlighten their understanding, did kindle their cold affections, and did teach and explain to them what was needful and wholesome for them. Moreover, twice did You give Your peace to them with Your heavenly blessing, so that they rejoiced with exceeding great joy at having seen the Lord their God, just as formerly, the Wise Men on seeing the Star in the heavens had rejoiced, and had at once cast aside all fear and doubt.

And presently, so as to strengthen them against all unbelieving gainsayers, and to blot out their misdeeds. You did breathe upon them the grace of the Holy Spirit, saying to them: " Receive you (given, as the greatest of all gifts, to you who for My Name's sake have forsaken the world) — receive you the Holy Ghost: whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained.'"

How great indeed was the grace given to the Apostles by the breathing upon them of the Holy Spirit by the Mouth of Christ rising from the dead by the glory of the Father, so that not only were they themselves made safe and absolved from all their sins, but also full power was given to them of absolving others from their sins, of repelling the unworthy, and of binding the guilty! How glorious was that day, how blessed was that evening hour when Jesus came to the Apostles with such glory and such joy, filling with heavenly gifts men who were living in retirement in obedience to Your command!

O holy and beloved Apostle Thomas, would that you had been present at this time and had been found with your fellow-Apostles when Jesus came and said, " Peace be unto you " ! But perhaps some need or other obliged you to go out. Would that you had come back in good time, and had heard and seen with the rest all that Jesus said and did! How good would it have been for you, and for the assurance of your faith.

But who has known Your mind, O Lord? Or who has been Your counsellor that You came suddenly at a time when Thomas was not there, or perhaps had gone out and stayed away longer than he meant ? Why, O good Jesus, did You act thus; why did You not wait a little for Thomas to come back? Why, O loving Jesus, did You not say: " Where is Thomas; where is he who was so earnest in saying to his fellow disciples: ' Let us also go, that we may die with Him'?" " O holy God, why did You not send for him to come quickly and see You ? Had I been there, and had You permitted, how willingly would I have gone to fetch him ! Did not Samuel the prophet send to call David from the sheepfolds to come and be anointed King in the presence of his brethren ?

But I know of a truth, and I believe, that You, O Lord, Who in Your wisdom did create the heavens and the earth, did permit all this for wise and good reasons. Nothing upon earth is done without cause, though many there are who understand not Your workings. It was not by chance that Thomas was absent, when You came and appeared to the Apostles; nay, rather You did act thus in Your love, and in fulfilment of the dispensations of Your wise providence, in order that many benefits might follow therefrom. One doubted in order that many might be confirmed in the faith. One erred, was taught better, and saw the error of his ways, in order that countless other souls might, by means of his conversion and preaching, come to a better knowledge of the truth. A man who doubts gains by asking questions, provided only that he does not persist in his doubt, and submits to the teaching of the Saints.

Many things there are which pass man's understanding, and, because of the depth of God's wisdom, men are not able to comprehend. If then a man's faith be tried let him not despair, but rather let him put his trust in the teachings of Holy Writ; for God has given to us, as a sure ground of hope for salvation, the example of many Saints and great Doctors, who were themselves in doubt upon many points, but presently came back to a right mind, turned to Christ in full assurance of faith, and profited others not a little. Gracious is the Lord Jesus; He spurns no one. He sends no one away; and if a man draws near to Him in simplicity of heart. He Himself instructs him in the truth, and never deceives him. Things which are beyond our comprehension should be committed to Him, to Whom all things are known, from Whom nothing is hid, Who orders those things which pass man's understanding both wisely and well. Let not then the unwise man be disturbed by the dealings of Jesus with His disciples, let him not find fault with that holy Apostle who was slow in believing; for what happened to him by the Will of God might well have happened to any other man.

I beseech You, then, O most gentle Christ Jesus, Visitor of Monks, Supporter of the fainthearted, Instructor of young and old, that You would visit me whether I am sitting alone, or am studying or writing in my cell, or am taking part with my brethren in choir in singing and praying. Open to me the gate of eternal life, enlighten the darkness of my mind, put to flight the evil spirits who tempt me, drive away the many different fancies that crowd in upon me; when the doors of my bodily eyes are shut, come secretly into me; fill my heart with the peace and joy of Your presence; and for the remission of my sins, make spiritually manifest to me those most sacred Wounds, Which You did endure for me upon the Cross; by Which, when dying and rising again out of pure love for me. You did redeem me from eternal death — Who, with the Father, etc. Amen.